Regulate your nervous system without anyone noticing
Sometimes your nervous system gets overwhelmed without warning. But it's hard to say "Hold on, I need to do some grounding" in the middle of a meeting.
These techniques are designed so you can use them right there, without anyone noticing.
Based on the bilateral stimulation principle from EMDR. Alternating left-right stimulation calms the nervous system and brings you back to the present.
Touch each finger with your thumb in sequence. You can do this under the desk or in your pocket β completely invisible.
Pressing the center of your palm with the opposite thumb has a calming effect. Looks like you're just holding your hands together.
Box breathing done quietly through the nose only. Go slowly and softly so there's no audible breath sound.
Making your exhale longer than your inhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system. Exhale very slowly so it doesn't look like a sigh.
Hold a cold water glass or warm coffee cup and focus on the temperature. Holding a drink in a meeting is completely natural.
Focus on the texture of clothing, armrest, or a small object in your pocket. Keeping a smooth grounding stone in your pocket works great.
The most basic and powerful grounding technique. Focus only on the sensation of your feet touching the ground.
A shortened version of the classic 5-4-3-2-1. Done entirely in your head, so no one knows.
Pick a color and find objects around you that match. Looking around the room is perfectly natural.
You don't have to do it perfectly. Even 30 seconds makes a difference to your nervous system.
Practice when you're calm so it becomes automatic when you need it. Try these often.
Find 2-3 that work for you and make them your personal toolkit.
Sometimes a technique won't work. That's okay β try another one or step away briefly.
Bilateral Stimulation
Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy. Guilford Press.
How bilateral stimulation affects emotional regulation
Breathing and the Autonomic Nervous System
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory. W. W. Norton.
Slow breathing activates the parasympathetic response
Grounding and Dissociation
van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. Penguin Books.
Body-based approaches are effective for trauma response regulation